Sabotage

Unless you are a single person who lives and works alone and never eats with other people, you will have plenty of hours in your life spent having meals with your family, husband or wife, co-workers or maybe even clients and roommates. When you are dieting those around you could purposely or unconsciously sabotage your efforts to eat healthy and lose weight.

Sabotage is one of the things I talk about in my weight loss classes. It seems like a big word for what may be perceived as an easy problem to deal with but I think it fits the bill perfectly.

If you are a heavy person living with one of those people who can eat whatever they want (and they do!) while you're trying to cut back on unhealthy choices, it's like an accident waiting to happen. If you know your skinny husband (or insert whoever you wish) has a half gallon of Dreyer's Double Fudge Brownie in the freezer and he is eating it in front of you daily, chances are you are going to have some too from temptation.

I have a newish client who needs to lose around 100 lbs. Her husband is a bigger guy and probably weighs as much as she does. She is really determined to reach her goals but he is the one who shops and cooks because he works at home. She mentioned to me the other day that her husband keeps bringing home cakes and pies from the store. And, of course, it's hard for her not to eat them because she's a sugar person.

Her husband is really supportive of her weight loss goals and he was the one who initially contacted me to work with his wife. He wants her to succeed and yet he is committing these acts of sabotage against his wife. I'm not sure he realizes that he is doing it. He definitely needs to drop at least 50 lbs. of body fat himself so it's not just his wife who needs the weight loss.

In this situation it's an overweight person doing the sabotaging, not a skinny person. The real problem is that there are two sugar addicts in the same house, one the dealer and one the customer.

So I told her that she needs to be very clear with her husband about what he is doing by bringing in cakes and pies, etc. to the house. It's impossible for her to say "no" when he's eating it and serving it to her.

I gave her some practical advice if she wasn't willing to have the conversation with him: to dump the offending foods in the garbage or disposal as soon as he brings it home from the store to prove a point. OR to have ONE PIECE and then immediately throw the rest away in the outside garbage can. She thought the latter was a great idea but I think the former is the better option.

Neither of them are ever going to reach their goals with how things are right now. If it keeps happening, then I will have a short but sweet conversation with the husband and tell him my concern. It's a sticky situation but I am determined to help my client.

They are addicts and they need to treat themselves like addicts. Which means they cannot have food like that in the house...at least until they learn to keep their addiction under control.

If you are someone who has a saboteur in your life I hope my tips for my client are helpful for you.

Do you plan on losing more weight?

So I'm on the phone with my mentor and we're discussing me doing videos and DVDs to sell for my website. I'm not opposed to it but I'm just not photogenic and on video I look worse. And Kevin asks, "Are you planning on losing more weight?" Which to me implies that he thinks I'm fat.

Granted I'm not a size 4 or even a 6. I'm sure plenty of people would look at me and think I'm a little too large for my profession. I notice the surprised looks when I tell people that I'm a personal trainer.

Ok, I get it. Most people expect a female personal trainer to look like a fitness pageant contestant or body builder, and I certainly don't fit into either of those categories.

I have not been a gym bunny all my life. Heck I'm not even a gym bunny now. I don't workout hours a day. I'm just not that vain. And frankly that is part of what makes me so good at my job. I can relate to the average person who is trying to get in shape and lose weight.

I used to look like this:



In that picture (age 31,and yes, that really is me) I weighed 291 lbs. In Texas the proper term is "big as the side of the house".

So I think I look a great deal better now. And no, I don't plan on losing more weight...not much is going to change on my body until I have it surgically altered with a tummy tuck, or a body lift (same thing as a tummy tuck, though more skin is removed).

True, most people do a double take when I tell them what I do for a living and so many have suggested that I just do more abdominal exercise. I know they mean well but they are just uneducated. You cannot exercise away skin. And I guarantee my abs are way better than yours! Wanna see my 2-pack?

I try not to be offended when people ask me if I plan on losing more weight. I know they aren't intentionally trying to be rude...though it makes me wonder how bad I look for them to ask that question.

We girls are judged so critically on our appearance.

Regardless, I love what I do and I am very good at it.. I help people every day and that's what matters to me.

Motivating Dieters

Successful dieting is not just about what to eat and how to exercise, but from the effort it takes to achieve it.

I have been teaching a weight management class for the past 4 years. My classes, in general, have been highly successful. On average my students, which range from 5 to 15 women per session (7 weeks), lose around 125 to 200 lbs. as a group. The average body fat percentage lost as a group is around 22 to 25%.

I like to think that my students' success is because I'm such an inspiring and amazing teacher. I do think part of that is true. I think part of it is my success story motivates my students to become an after' as well.

The real reason for my students' success is that they start to believe that they will be successful. No matter how much I stress positive thinking and positive self-talk there is almost always at least one lady (sometimes two or three) I just can't seem to help. I have to step back and let everyone make the decision to believe in themselves on their own, my only job is to love and support them to the point they can takeover where I leave off. I also like to tell my students that they should inspire and help each other along the way.

My current weight management class of 7 women lost an amazing 30.5 lbs. and 7.2% (or ~ 21 lbs.) of body fat in just the first week! Everyone lost weight and body fat. They have started realizing that what I'm teaching them works if they will just follow the plan. I am extremely proud of them.

So many times my students will tell me and anyone who will listen that I'm the reason they were successful. And that's just not the truth. I wasn't the one feeding them, or preparing their meals and snacks, or working out for them. They were the ones who did it. I just gave them the tools, motivation and support.

It's nice to hear my ladies praising me but their praise is misdirected. They should be praising themselves that they took initiative to become healthier and followed it through to success. It is humbling for anyone to say that I'm responsible for their success but I refuse to take credit. It was their individual effort that made them successful, I just stood back and cheered and answered some questions now and then.

If you have succeeded at becoming more fit you probably tell everyone who wants to know exactly what program, workout, book, trainer, or diet you followed. There is so much information out there to help anyone succeed and it's great when others are inspired by someone's (yours maybe?) story.

However, you and I both know that it was your own inner resolve, determination and working at it day by day that is the real reason for your success.