Sabotage

Unless you are a single person who lives and works alone and never eats with other people, you will have plenty of hours in your life spent having meals with your family, husband or wife, co-workers or maybe even clients and roommates. When you are dieting those around you could purposely or unconsciously sabotage your efforts to eat healthy and lose weight.

Sabotage is one of the things I talk about in my weight loss classes. It seems like a big word for what may be perceived as an easy problem to deal with but I think it fits the bill perfectly.

If you are a heavy person living with one of those people who can eat whatever they want (and they do!) while you're trying to cut back on unhealthy choices, it's like an accident waiting to happen. If you know your skinny husband (or insert whoever you wish) has a half gallon of Dreyer's Double Fudge Brownie in the freezer and he is eating it in front of you daily, chances are you are going to have some too from temptation.

I have a newish client who needs to lose around 100 lbs. Her husband is a bigger guy and probably weighs as much as she does. She is really determined to reach her goals but he is the one who shops and cooks because he works at home. She mentioned to me the other day that her husband keeps bringing home cakes and pies from the store. And, of course, it's hard for her not to eat them because she's a sugar person.

Her husband is really supportive of her weight loss goals and he was the one who initially contacted me to work with his wife. He wants her to succeed and yet he is committing these acts of sabotage against his wife. I'm not sure he realizes that he is doing it. He definitely needs to drop at least 50 lbs. of body fat himself so it's not just his wife who needs the weight loss.

In this situation it's an overweight person doing the sabotaging, not a skinny person. The real problem is that there are two sugar addicts in the same house, one the dealer and one the customer.

So I told her that she needs to be very clear with her husband about what he is doing by bringing in cakes and pies, etc. to the house. It's impossible for her to say "no" when he's eating it and serving it to her.

I gave her some practical advice if she wasn't willing to have the conversation with him: to dump the offending foods in the garbage or disposal as soon as he brings it home from the store to prove a point. OR to have ONE PIECE and then immediately throw the rest away in the outside garbage can. She thought the latter was a great idea but I think the former is the better option.

Neither of them are ever going to reach their goals with how things are right now. If it keeps happening, then I will have a short but sweet conversation with the husband and tell him my concern. It's a sticky situation but I am determined to help my client.

They are addicts and they need to treat themselves like addicts. Which means they cannot have food like that in the house...at least until they learn to keep their addiction under control.

If you are someone who has a saboteur in your life I hope my tips for my client are helpful for you.

Lose weight or live longer?

A few years ago, women were polled and asked the question:

Would you rather lose weight or live to be 100? And 51% said they would rather lose weight.

I'm saddened by that.

I also hate the saying, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

I've been both very morbidly obese and quite thin (growing up I was all arms and legs and long hair and skinny as a rail) and now, a healthy weight and body fat.

Thin isn't everything. Skeletal isn't attractive. I would suggest that you ladies (and some of you gentlemen) stop dieting and start learning to eat healthy. Yes, there is a difference.

I know this person, who a few years ago looked quite good. Slender but not too skinny. She shared with me that she had been taking diet pills for the past year (and I know she wasn't exercising). Her diet pretty much consists of alcohol and cigarettes. Two years later she looks horrible: emaciated, ashen skin, no life in the eyes...but you know, she thinks she looks great because she is so very thin.

I'm sad for her. She had an attractive body before and now she has no breasts and no ass. I can only imagine the internal struggle she has been dealing with for years that would cause her to go from healthy looking to a walking skeleton. She has succumbed to the American idea that being super thin makes you more attractive.

She isn't the only person I know who would give anything to be thin, severely thin. I just don't get it. Ok, I sorta get it. Every actress or model you see is so thin they have to jump around in the shower to get wet. And as women we compare ourselves.

So women feel pressured to be thin at any cost. Why do you think the diet pill industry is a multi-billion dollar per year industry? Why do you think that every January gyms see a 200% (or more) increase in new memberships?

Bulimia and anorexia aren't going to stop being a problem anytime soon.

Men, too, feel the pressure to look like Brad Pitt (not my idea of an ideal man BTW). Though the numbers are drastically lower for men, there are still plenty who abuse diet pills and are anorexic or bulemic.

I beg you to stop trying so desperately to be thin and instead strive to be healthy. Do not base your self worth on what number the scale registers or what size your clothes are. You will have a much longer and and more fulfilling life if you will.

And frankly how many grandmas and grandpas have you ever heard reminsce, in the twilight of their lives, they the thing they are most proud of is that they were skinny?